There’s a Stone House Over Yonder

Posted on

It was pouring rain outside and I was still sitting in my car at McLeay Park. It was really raining hard. I’m thinking at this point that this 5-6 mile trail run I wanted to go on could easily go one of two ways. Little did I know there was a third option. I really didn’t want to get out of the car and charge up this steep ass trail in the pouring rain. I needed a serious motivation and even Guns N’ Roses Paradise City wasn’t gonna be enough. WEEEEEED!!!!!! I had some in the console of my car! Why not???!!! I smoke weed all the time and ride, board, or just about anything right? Wow, the thought of running single track in the pouring rain all the sudden sounded fucking dreamy! What could go wrong? Well … Puff puff and I’m off! I started my GPS, cranked my tunes, and started my run. It was awesome! Steadily passing hikers, kids, dogs, and a few tourists. All was well. Not too steep but steep enough for a guy who’s been staying off the hills for a few weeks. The trees were super trippy and just dripping wet. I was really getting into the greenery and the rain. My tunes were just perfect. I got to the old Stone House at .8 miles with a respectable 250 elevation gain. Here’s where you insert the sound of a record needle being dragged off the vinyl…. I’m looking up at this ancient stone house deep in forest park and this beautiful vampire chick comes walking around from behind the building. She walks up the stairs on the side of the building and out of view. I start to get dizzy. REALLY DIZZY! I quickly sit down on the foundation steps and think, “Dude, don’t pass out… Don’t do it, and what the fuck was that vamp chick doing there…?” I slowly laid down on my back in case I did lose completely lose it. So I woke up, who the hell knows how long later, flat on my back on the wet stone floor. Has no idea where I was or why MIA was bumping soooooo loud in my ears. I ripped my ear buds out and tried to get a grip on where I was. The stone house? It all came back to me in a scary way. How long I was out, I’ll never know. I propped myself up and kinda looked around. I noticed a couple of hikers I had passed awhile ago on the trail. The were kinda staring at me from about 20 feet away. I think they thought I was just resting or something. Hopefully I wasn’t flopping around or anything while I was out. I slowly stood up and kinda did a physical and mental inventory. I wasn’t bleeding and seemed to be able to keep my feet under me. I was super stoned, that’s for sure! Like reeeeeeeally high! I look up at the stone house and the vamp chick had half her clothes off at this point and was having her picture taken by her sketchy looking boyfriend. I think they missed out on my whole adventure. Kinda bummed I missed their adventure though. The thought of continuing my run at that point did occur to me. But since I’d made it this far without cracking my head open or getting blood drawn by a wannabe vamp, I headed for home. I walked back down the trail for awhile looking only at the ground right in front of my feet. Eventually I actually started running a bit, even picked up the pace a bit, and got back to my car just fine. My guess is the weed robbed some oxygen. That and maybe a little dehydration got the best of me. The whole event was kinda scary and messed up… and the day before Halloween. – Chairman