Preshow Cocktail: Happy Holidays Edition

First of all, it must be noted that last Friday, the EBMB achieved the milestone of 150 shuffleboard matches played this year. I need 8 more games to meet this milestone. The rest of you will have to wait until 2010. With 239 career games under his belt, Dubz will certainly tip the quarter-century mark this year as well. This clearly makes him the elder statesmen of the shuffleboard ranks.

The mileage war is trending Scrappy’s way. the EBMB’s move to a more central locale has hindered his mileage potential. However, the tally is close and Dubz will surely be roping at least two others for off-night bonus miles. Extra Bonus Miles Beggar? This one will surely go down to the wire.

Although the Silent Assassin’s one loss had little effect on the current leaderboard, Friday’s shuffleboard at the Vendetta proved positive for Scrappy and the EBMB. The Old Guard put up three straight, moving their winning percentage over the 70% mark. The pair hold the table honors (the right to play first) and will bring a good bit of confidence back to the Swervedriver tomorrow night. Singles honors, should we get to play some singles, are either held by me or Foz, depending on who’s Black Cat match ended last. As you know, we have obliged others with doubles matches to 21 at the Vendetta, but nonesuch breakage of the rules are to be carried over in matches involving only Thirsty Fathers. 15 points per game, gentlemen.

Silent Assassin Night, Holy Assassin Night – In short, the defending champion has the repeat trophy in hand. It is his to lose. Despite two recent hiccups, it can still be said that B*****heart is the one to beat. Will he continue to be the open fire? Will we continue to be merely chestnuts? Unless the Assassin turns Nat King Cold, the tune will be the same again in 2009.

Giftscrapper – Playing well of late and will surely make a concerted go of it. Three trips to the Vendetta make this a bit of an uphill battle, as he has been less than stellar on the table, Friday’s results notwithstanding. Scrap Pap will look to make the most of the Brunette and hope for breaks on Pussy and Swerve. Even with fine performances, he still might be inched out by the Spaniel.

Extra-Brash Man Bellows! – The Snipper is due for a primal scream. Slighted last year by voters, Sir Brashness is set to close out with one sustained, victorious crotch grab. He will look to shout it out to the heavens over three trips to Vendetta, where his fortunes have been good, especially of late. He will fair better in the singles tests of the Rumpus and the Cat this time around in order to make the necessary move. Like Scrappy, his chances depend on a B*****heart stumble as well as a strong stride of his own.

Fosbury’s Chance in Hell – If Fosbury were to win 8 or more games without a loss to close while all other contenders remained at current pace, he would have a better win percentage and therefore be among consideration for 2009 Shuffler of the Year. I say consideration because it is yet to be determined whether stats alone win the award. However, if Fosbury were to pull off such a feat, it would be hard to argue with the bookends of the Glisan St. Massacre and what we surely be dubbed “Merry ChristFoz”. Attendance is the answer Foz.

Holiday in Cambodia – Kong, Zulu, The Chairman, and The Leech are, in terms of the shuffleboard chase, the notable also-rans. However, their play in the remaining matches will play a dominant role in the fates of the top four. Both as doubles partners and as spoilers on the singles end, their inclusion in the stretch run will not only be a fight for bragging rights in mid-table, but will also add to the spicy stew of prosperity and adversity for the contenders. They will not feast, but they will be at the meal. Just like … Cambodians?