Obsessive Carbon Disorder, Martin’s Parting Shot, and the Epic of Janush

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Chapter 1: Spokes, Flats, and the Carbon Crutch- Broken spoke on Monday. Got home at 6:30p Tuesday and replaced spoke and trued wheel. Reinstalled crankset and brakes. 7:45p. Inflate tire only to hear it pop and deflate. Patch it. Inlfate. Pop. No way to repatch. Martin calls with “Shuffler 1 to shuffler 2” I reply with “Late. Be there by 9. ” Travel to Fred Meyer for possible replacement tube. Pallets of boxes to stock blocking bike aisle. Climb over boxes to find no tubes avaialable. Drive back livid. Arrive at Hal’s by car under the best cycling conditions of the year. This sucks ass. Chapter 2: Martin’s Parting Shot – The fond farewell before departing across the Atlantic comes in the form of three straight shellackings at Hal’s right outn of the gate and an overall 5-2 run for the night. As he is prone to do, the EBMB played with peerless focus and unrelenting accuracy. The run made Martin the first Thristy Father to record 100 career victories. Scott managed to steal a victory at Hal’s over the then win-worn Barrett. Shalen, still steaming from being rendered bike-less, had to wait until the Watertrough for even a glimpse at victory. Barrett is now 12-4 over the last two weeks and has positioned himself well for the run for 2009 Shuffler of the Year. He also took advantage of Shalen’s carbon lapse to take over the bike mileage lead. His absence next week will be welcomed by all his worried opponents. Chapter 3: The Epic of Janush – After Martin departed in victory, Scott and I decided to lick our wounds over drinks at the Space Room. Desert island lists were made over strangely misconstructed, very strong Rusty Nails while quite a motley crew of hangers-on began to congregate. Just when we both thought it was getting a bit strange, Janush enters. Janush = Polish chatterbox with ADHD and a propensity to fold paper, hand out goodies, and bounce like a ping pong ball in a washing machine. I was simply amazed at what turned out to be the most entertaining curiosity I have ever met. A self-described “getter of goods”, Janush would tire out a teenage girl with his rapid fire monologuing and absolute hatred for subject continuity. The best way to descirbe him might be “harmlessly off medication.” Anyway, Scott and I were gooned galore and the end of the evening will be much discussed in the future. Scott and I both called it an evening shortly after last call. I drove Janush to an address of a “friend”. We had to stop for gas along the way. Janush insisted on washing the windows and decorating the garbage can with duct tape. After I dropped him off, he ran into the woods flailing his arms. I still do not know if any of this happened. Chapter 4: Called out sick Wednesday.

Bars Visited: Hal’s, Watertrough, Space Room
Attendance:MB, SL, SP
Cycling (Mi.): MB (12), SL (9) SP (Carbon)
Shuffleboard Overall W-L (Singles W-L) Notables:
MB (5-2)
SP (2-3) Bloodbath
SL (2-4) Bllodbath, Hanger