Carbon Chickens, Noseplug Ballet, and Full Harvest for the Farmers

Posted on

Rarely ones to play chicken to a patch of cold rain, the EBMB and I strangely decided to travel by car. Despite our weak rationalizations (“it’ll surely be 38 degrees and pouring by midnight”) and false postures of magnanimity (“give the others a chance to catch up in mileage”), we realized right away what we have always known: ‘Cars suck.” Anyway, carried a happy fog into a crowded tub. Noseplug water ballet a real trip. Portland, Oregon! The EBMB melts silence with “My chub can nub in the tub!”. 50 degree drop when you get out. Roll carbon style down Killy to the Vendetta. Empty table, so we get straight to it. Well, at least Martin does, demolishing me in the singles opener. Dan arrives and shuts Martin out. Dan then clubs me like a harp seal, winning 16-2. Kong arrives for a rematch with the Farmers. A new tradition of table honors is created due to the insistence of Mr. Bravin. Table honors is hitherto defined as the right to play first on the table as a doubles side or as a singles player. Honors goes to the last winning side or player and is carried on as long as attendance and situation makes it possible. In this way, winning streaks by doubles sides and singles players can remain unsullied by the improper interruption of ad-hoc matchup decisions. So say we all! Tradition is served on this night by granting honors to the Farmers. In full harvest once again, they obliterate all comers and extend their winning streak to an otherworldly 9 straight. Even Tim’s encouraging debut offerings cannot stop the tractor roll. Next week’s honors now go to the Farmers in doubles and to Dan in singles. All the rest are left wishing for a mulching accident. Kong departs proudly as the Lone Biker of the Apocalypse. (Day after reports have confirmed a pothole mishap and a bit of nose scrape have soured the end of Lebold’s night.) The remaining hours for the remaining nubbers are sung to the tune of “Touch me underwater / then just swim away” over a round of Oakshire Amber at Tiga. Plenty late for this strange buckling up. As I drive home, I can’t help but feeling I would have been the only car I would have seen on my magnificent bike ride home. Oh well, the obvious is painfully learned again. We will be back on two wheels in a week’s time.

Bars visited: Kennedy School, Vendetta, Tiga
Attendance: DB, MB, SP, SL, TL
Cycling: SL (14)
Shuffleboard Overall W-L (Singles W-L) Notables:
DB 5-0 (2-0) Shutout
MB 4-1 2 Hangers, Flood
TL 0-1
SL 0-2
SP 0-5