God Dan You!

In the beginning there was Dan and the Dan was made flesh. Dan begat Dan whom then begat Dan. All in his own image. The there was a flood or something and Dan built an ark and, contrary to popular belief, refused passage to the animal pairs, preferring to make the voyage alone with his mirror. A million years later, the story continues in large cities, small rural town, seedy rest rooms, and, as was the case on Tuesday, in dilapidated shuffleboard taverns on the south side. Already on a record winning streak, OmniDan had to go and get biblical on us, his all-powerful wrath tumbling down with godly ease on the trembling masses below. The certainty with which he clarified his holy status left even the atheists buckling to bow. Only after the game had fallen into tedium did he relinquish a moment of optimism to the broken heaps of flesh. The wreckage of his vengeful visit to the human world: 6 straight victories, including 3 shutouts, outscoring opponents 87 to 29 in the span. The string was eventually broken, but it seemed result of lack of interest in a game already mastered. After the thundering clouds and lightning flashes dissipated, the crowd, with the deity in tow, biked down through the corridor under beautifully chilly weather to celebrate the second coming at the Roadside Attraction. Zulu and the Leech joined the congregation for beer and pleasantries and the peerless glow of the patio fire. Talk of Manzanita and theater girls felt like vain attempts to reclaim humanity from the recent claims of the divine governing body. A largely necessary visit to the carts and a largely unnecessary visit to the gold dust did little to distract from the superhuman spectacle still fresh in the stunned minds. And so it was written. So shall it be. The Holy One is now 22-3 in his last 25 games. Perhaps more impressive, is his holiness’ 14-1 record in his last 15 single matches. Sure, a sudden rise of secular humanism is always possible, but for now the table is in God’s hands.

Bars visited: Black Cat, Roadside Attraction, Carts, Gold Dust Meridian
Attendance: DB, MB, SP, DL, LS, OC, TL
Cycling: DB (18.9), DL (21.8), MB(9.8), LS(17.4), SP(12), OC & TL (carbon)
Shuffleboard Overall W-L (Singles W-L) Notables:
DB (6-1) 3 Shutouts
LS (3-2) Shutout, Hanger
SP (3-3) 3 Hangers
MB (1-3)
DL (0-4)