Pre-function Notes (The Original Preshow Cocktail?)

11/3/09 Pre-Function Notes:
Tonight’s return visit to the Black Cat will be our first since May 19th. The Thirsty Fathers have played a measly 17 total on these tables.The South Table, nicknamed “Pussy Galore”, traditionally has provided the best play with the middle table providing a good game as well. However, a correspondent, who happened to stop in last night to shoot a few ends, reported that the South Table looked beatup, but still played with great character. No pucks were thrown on the middle table, but it looked like the one in the finest shape. However, I seem to believe that we opted for aesthetics last time only to come to the determination that the “Pussy” was better despite its less than pristine appearance. Ain’t that the truth, boys!

Last trip 5/19 (Dan’s B-day bash?):
DB 2-1 Hanger;
SL 2-1; MB 0-2 Hanger
There have been 2 shutouts at the Black Cat:
DB 12, MB 0 (4/14/09)
MB 11, SP 0 (4/14/09)
Black Cat Hanger Tally:
SP 6; MB, SL, & DB 2 each

The Good King Lebold ain’t superstitious. He is usually happy when this Black Cat crosses his path. Recent weeks on the circuit have been unkind, so a charge of twisted luck is surely in order. He was last seen walking under a step ladder with 13 horseshoes draped over his arm. “If you believe in things that you don’t understand,” said Scottie Wonder, ” then you suffer. Superstition ain’t the way.”

The EBMB night on 4/14/09 at the Cat was the stuff of legend, going 6-2 and registering a shutout. However, that night ended with him being shutout himself, starting his current 0-3 streak on the table. Bit of Jeckyl and Hyde syndrome plaguing him on the circuit right now. Although the Snipper is 12-8 over his last 20 games, he has only one victory in that span outside the friendly confines of the Farmer’s pairing. Without the help of the Silent Assassin, the Mannish Boy is 1-7, leading many to believe that a visit to the Black Cat may leave the good doctor looking for a place to Hyde.

B*****heart may only have broken even on this table in the past, but the fact that he is on an historic winning rampage throws all that out the window. The Assassin is 18-2 in his last 20 games. Unlike the EBMB, Vin Biodiesel has fared just fine outside of the Farmer’s pairing, posting a record of 6-1 as a non-Farmer during that span. No one is more lethal right now than the Assassin. Needless to say, the rest of us are hoping he gets a good pussy whipping tonight.

Scrappy is in freefall. If there is freedom in the slump, The Mouth is as unencumbered as lint in a windstorm. OCD, once a reference to a manic, unwavering commitment to be on top, now depressingly stands for Opportunities Charting Downward. Once a contender in the 2009 race, Slumpy is now fighting for a notable place among the also-rans. Unless he can really get on top of the Pussy tonight, he will surely be lost in the muff.

Fosbury’s early 2009 prominence seems a broken lighthouse in the distance now. However, due to his infrequent outings, a string of victories would have a good deal of impact on his stats. He may have faded a bit, but those who witnessed the Glisan Street Massacre know not to underestimate the Foz. Better to be a broken lighthouse than a unsuspecting sailor I suppose.

Zulu, another infrequent visitor to Thirstyland, looks to build on the rare, encouraging results he posted recently at the Rumpus. Since The Social always has a hard time concentrating on the game, we will see if he can keep it together with a giant pussy staring him in the face

The Chairman and The Leech have yet to tap the Galore. Despite a Hal’s drubbing, experts agree The Chairman’s future is bright. As for The Leech. with only one game under his belt, it is simply too early to tell.