Preshow Cocktail: Autumn Cup

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Autumn Lee-ves – Foz is the career leader in singles percentage, is coming off a heroic 10-win night, and has won his last 12 matches. For these reasons, he must be mentioned first. However, detractors pose valid questions: With only 25 career singles matches (roughly a week’s worth by Martin or Dan’s standards), is his high percentage a true indicator of his singles prowess? Will having never played a singles match on the Sandy Hut table be a factor? With his last match over 3 months ago, will he quickly regain his shining form or struggle to shake off the rust? While there is substance to the detractor’s song, history has shown that, more often than not, it is a cold winter’s tune that the opponent hears, when autumn Lee-ves begin to fall.

King Harvest – While Foz may have the career singles lead, the EBMB has been nearly lights out this year. He has won nearly 70% of his singles matches this year and with his comfortable overall lead or 5 percentage points, he is certainly on track to retain the hammer. However superhuman the Snipper has been over the year so far, he has at least resembled a mortal over his last 50 games. Over that span, his win percentage is roughly 56%. That is very good, but not great. He is dropped 3 of his last fi ve singles matches. These last two issues will, of course, be of no matter to EBMB. He will surely strut in with champion thoughts boiling under his hat. And, when there is hardware to be had, he usually hits his mark. It can surely come as no surprise to anyone if King Harvest sweeps the seasons and rakes in his second cup.

Scottoberfest – Okay it’s not October yet, but you try and carry a fall theme through a write-up without stretching a bit. Lebold and LeBeautiful was just that at the Coppa Di Primavera, coming one win shy of a victory and being the only one to topple the mighty Snipper in the tourney. Despite a less than stellar year statistically, when there is money in the pot, Kong is a beast. Expect the whiskey sipping marksman to be in top form for this one. You can’t miss him. He’s the 800 lb gorilla in the room.

Bobbing for Scrapples – Sure, he’s won 22 of his last 25 matches and is 8-2 in his last 10 singles matches, but before that fine run of play, Scrappy was truly abysmal. Always a streaky player, one can never truly anticipate what will happen with Scrappy. Okay, you can anticipate he’ll be talking, but you can’t be sure whether it will be bragging or grousing. With a target on his back due to the recent hot streak, his prospects for the cup have to be tempered a bit. He certainly could find himself in the mix, but he just as easily bow out quick and keep score for the rest of the night.

If Summer’s a question, then Fall is the Danswer – Only farmers know what bounty fall can bring. For our resident agrarian, autumn is here and its fruition time! Overall, it has been a good year for the roses, as they say. He finds himself in the familiar position of hammer contender and certainly will look to parlay his recent fine form into a cup win. He may have a green thumb, but his finger is bent for the trigger. Farmer by day, assassin by night. That may seem like a strange dichotomy, but, for Toona, it is all just management of organic matter.

Check Out the New Ball Lineup- The Chairman will celebrate his own private inguinal equinox tonight at he drags his hernia to the Hut with dreams of surprising the field. While it wouldn’t be the biggest surprise if Yasgur pulls it off, but you’d have to have your brain in your sac to call him a favorite. Still, hope is dangling like so many grapes for the Hernia Pet. Hey Dave, if you do bow out early, I’ll meet you at the dispensary … I mean … infirmary.

International Harlester – Still in contention for the first Copppa, Gerard will now focus on establishing eternal contention in this competition. Gerard is like a lone thrasher plowing on the horizon, the blades of his machine set to the speed of the turning Earth. An edge dweller, but never out of sight. He may be swept aside early on, but he will never, ever be finished. Plow on, good reaper! Plow on!