Cardiac Kid Claims Coppa

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Suffice it to say that the Coppa di Autunno was not lacking in drama. However, with Lee toasting Broadway, Dave in Italy eating bruschetta off Monica Bellucci’s midriff, Gerard perched on the horizon, and one Harvester AWOL, our planned 12 was down to six. This did not dampen spirits or lessen the collective anxiety. The first draw, a heavyweight match of Farmer vs. Farmer, brought quick focus to the competition and set the tone for what would be a remarkable evening. The Spaniel opened with a 5 point bloodbath and found himself up 10-3 after 4 ends. Never to be easily outdone, the EBMB clawed back into the match with 8 straight, taking the lead at 11-10. But, alas, his comeback bid fell short on the next end. Bravinheart’s cool 5 settled things on the Farm and sent him into the next round. The next draw produced another intriguing match up: Scrappy vs. Kong. Amid sputtering early play on both sides, Kong built a healthy 10-4 lead. After giving back 4 straight points, Kong shored things up and looked to be sitting pretty at 14-8. However, out of nothing and nowhere,  Scrappy found a 3-2-5 finish that left Kong stunned at the death. What a match! Zulu and Harvester Chris were the de facto last draw. With Owen gaining an early 8-4 lead, Chris then began to live up to his formerly unmentioned full name: Harvester of Great Sorrow. He finished off the Social with a 2-3 finish, winning by the score of 15-11. The fate of the Coppa now lay in the hands of Dan, Shalen, and Chris. “What this shuffleboard game needs is a little Slayer,” said Zulu. With the jukebox razor sharp, the tension rose further. The draw produced a Chris vs. Shalen match up, with Dan getting the good fortune of a bye. After trading the first 4 ends, the score stood 7-5 in favor of Scrappy. Then Chris made a statement of 9 straight points, pushing Scrappy yet again to the brink of elimination at 14-7. With more than a few whiskeys swirling in his head, Scrappy was at all odds, but somehow provided a  swift answer. Finally getting a hanger to sit, he leveled the game at 14-all with a 7-point end. The Cardiac Kid then finished of his second last-ditch comeback with a 2 on the final end. This set up the final against the Silent Assassin. Dan began with two lethal 4-point ends and was up 10-1 before Scrappy knew what had hit him. Dizzy from the blows, Scrappy began to grind back. He somehow strung together 10 straight points to take the lead. Then, with a loud thump, Dan dropped a four to put Scrappy on the brink for the third time on the night. Two well-worked 1 point ends kept slim hope alive. With the score 14-13 in Dan’s favor, fate played favorites yet again. For the third straight time, the very unlikely had happened. By the grace of the shuffleboard gods, Scrappy had snatched the Coppa from the claws of defeat. When asked about the remarkable achievement, Scrappy replied, “I had a feeling that after surviving a trip down ‘I Am Wielding an Ax Street ‘, I might have luck on my side. However, it was certainly no gentle cruise on the Crystal Dolphin.”  The match for second place was won by the Sorrow Harvester, a fine 8-straight at the end finishing up a strong statement on the night by the honored guest. The collective winnings were then  emptied from the cup and thrown at the bar, getting the whole lot of us good and blottoed. The celebration continued at the Standard well beyond what was really necessary, but such is Coppa night. Unconfirmed reports stated they saw a giddy drunk swerving southward aboard a rolling creamsicle in the early hours of the first day of fall. Some reported the gentleman was singing a bastardized version of a Barry Manilow’s song. Wait, I think I hear it now ….”In the Coppa-Di-Autunno, shuffle party crashing in a three comeback fashion. In the Coppa … He stole the cup.”