Broken Rules, Funiculars, and a Beach Faction

Don’t tell anyone, but the Adjuster is a dipshit. He brought his charming wife to the first bar, Bazi, breaking .. you know … that rule. Thee rule. Breaking this rule was, up until this point, known as The Laborde Transgression, named for the only other father to cross the streams. While the visit by the Chairman’s wife had been an accident, this recent incident, dubbed The Welshed Bet, was no accident. It makes no difference that she was charming and did little to dissuade from the night’s burgeoning fatherly enthusiasm. I mean, this was technically an invasion of the prepack, my fellow fathers. Plus… get this … she drove! Let the verbal assault begin in haste, with words like a velcro-wrapped hammer, designed to bludgeon and stick. What’s next, a Sally in the shuffleboard standings? Say it ain’t so. And I thought we had a rookie of the year candidate in our midst. Anyway, in addition to Adjuster wife, we also welcomed father Percy for the nights ramble through NE. Despite riding like slow ginger and straightening to red light law, his thirst was considerable and company refreshing. The Adjuster, Father Percy, and myself found our way to Mock’s Crest Property, adding Lozo and Lester’s More. Here, we were electronically informed of a beach faction with flared nostrils and kids that needed to be tucked in. Despite our disbelief, it appears the photos sent were not just Photoshop hacks. The beach faction, officially dubbed Menzanita, was truly on. Okay sort of on. You know, after the fairy stories were read and unicorn blankets secured. It was also on these Skidmore Bluffs that we received news that further transgressions were about to occur. A friend of the Adjuster who was not a father was about to meet us. I don’t care if he is a completely cool world traveler who runs a shit-hot label and discovers world musicians of the highest caliber, he could surely have sired by now. Anyway, because he was cool, no additional verbal assault is needed above the relentless and unending rampage ushered in earlier. Because the Sam Adams Memorial Skidmore Bluffs Funicular has yet to be built, the Sublime Frequency himself couldn’t find his way up the bluff, so we met the kidless wonder at Hop and Vine for some great patio. The Florida Room has more patio for us in the extended evening and then it was time to hedge our bets and head for home. Didn’t hear much from the Beach Faction after around 9:30. Probably long-since sleeping with stuffed penguins in Bratz underwear.- Scrappy Bars: Bazi, Hop & Vine, Florida Room Fathers: Shalen, Sean, Lorenzo, Gerard, Percy Guests: Hisham, Christie Dipshits: Sean