Author: Dubz

If in doubt – Vendetta

pre pack at SA’s – we’re winged suit flying through alpine forests – when I say ” if I’m still riding a bike on Tuesdays and playing shuffleboard in dive bars in 5 yrs time just kill me” I did not mean it ok – so don’t get any ideas. 

Just like old pre pack times – old crow and ginger on ice – herbal delights and tres originales wax lyrical – followed by one of the best quick rides ever – lambeau to Vendetta. 

 Dubz don’t drink beer much these days – it shows – he’s throwing bad pucks and smashing table lights – farmers go fallow for 0-2 

Lizza and Bezzo play it cool and sober bringing home a 3-1 

Gato and Zulu pull out a  1-1 for the night. 

Second bar – nope! This padre was gome by 11.20pm

Old Mother Father nursery ryhmes edition 

This little father went to Pre pack – some other fathers stayed  home
This little father played Shuffleboard – some other fathers smoked a bong
And this little father said “Oh my God I can’t ride my way home”

Dubz and Kong went hard and long to win 3 games of Shuffboard
Lizza/Swan they tried it on but only managed  some duffboard
Bezzo and Phiets they tried to beat but couldn’t find their aim
But Vic and Swan went on and on and finally won a game.

Hickory dickory dock Kong has run amok
Swan sucked on one the games went long
Hickory dickory dock.

Double mountain TFC

Tommy twin peaks  aka Donny Double hump aka  Harry two hills calls at 6.45pm doing his best jack Dawson from Titanic Impression “I’m on Top of the world!!!!!!!! and I can be at your place in 15 minutes” 


He rides the rocky mountain Butte way down to my alpine hut before we set off and cross the great Rosecity escarpment and traverse the North side of The Tabor. We find our route and pedal our pitches up and round and meet two other mountain men Bezzo and Vic velo-scaling the heights. We mount the summit together  4 wide with Sherpa Gato revelling in  double valiant oxygen free ascent status and claims gold medal position in Heroic endeavors for 2015. 

Vic does his best Gandalf and reminds us at 7.50pm that “we must get off the mountain”  As drunk as a swan in a darkened basement  we toss ourselves off (The mountain) and wind our way through the foot hills of South tabor to another alpine outpost – the Hutch.


1 minute tales are told – Tellers tell others more tales they must tell. 


Two Hexafectas of Thirsty benevolence are overheard:


“ I arrive late, someone pours me beer, someone gets me high, I win my game, I leave and ride downhill all the way home and get laid” 

“They leave the house,I have a w..k, pour myself a drink, get in the hot tub, chill the f..k out, ride here and play SB” 


And with that – This climber solos home early.

Things that were said

March third – we rode forth – We’re a club you know –Man! Can you smell that? – That train is moving – Wow – we’ve never ridden this road before – Excuse me have you seen St john’s bridge? These gems and more swapped as four TFC riders re run the superfun reverse Superfund ride. We ceremoniously walk the bridge instead of going over the railing – “DASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” We’re pretty high up and now we’re pretty high up here on this bridge. We’re riding backstreets all the way and arrive at Vendetta at 9.03pm “…..I usually find sleeping naked helps me get more sex” yep – that was said. “she usually says ‘let me dry my hair first’….so I do and make a mix tape while I’m waiting” That was said too.Our SB was not Cuban tonight.

Here Be! Here Be!

16 mile mega loop turns into 8 mile mini loop for Vic and Dub. Seemed like a great idea at the time – “more of a party ride” as Vic ventured – 2 wide on Woodward.

Here be Hal’s – here be a table that needs better wax and pucks – Here be fathers – Here be Dubz, Vic, Swan, Lizza, Bezzo, Phiets and Namath – here be great SB play – we’re better than Cuban – Here be no SA takes the Feb stage – here be no Gato takes the noise to Troutdale.

10.15pm – Back patio Bezzo says “Here be medical” – Vic, Swan and Dub understand – where be a doctor?– here be 4 wasted fathers – Here be a dry mouth – here be water – here be my bicycle – here be gum – here be the direction home – here be gome by 11.40pm.